Finally one good holiday for me..

Finally.. One good trip for me.. Going to hong kong and china for 12 days.. Dont worry people.. I am going to enjoy myself..

Monday Retreat

Wow!! Look at my blog! Very outdated huh?.. Rather busy then hence I had stop blogging..
Was busy with my work for the school concert.It was a rather crazy one hour plus then when
the concert start.But I guess the children had done very well in the whole concert.
The parents were very happy then as this is the first time to see a theme base concert.

My neighbour got married last sat(12 nov)she held her dinner at the Singapore Orchird country club. I did not attand then, went with Alvin to gym and a long walk from the club to Yishun dam instead.It was a rather crazy act then, but it was really a very refreshing walk. It took us about one hour plus to walk from the club to the dam and other 45mins to walk back to the club. On the way to the dam I got a small bonus, found a two dollar note. Wanted to lose weight very badly, hence went for this crazy act.. haha.

On Sun(13 Nov), Alvin and me went for other round of heavy work out again, joined Gladys and her boyfriend for a badminton session .It is very first time that I sweat till my whole T-shirt is wet! but I enjoyed the workout!

School is closed for a day today... Plan for a lot of things to do then,BUT I am down with a flu, nose like water tap like that... after taking the medicine.. felt like a stuck water tap.. Hate to be sick...arghh..

ARGGGG

Feeling very frustred right now.. Some things just don't go my way I guess.
But I am gald that I have someone to go through with me at this tough period.

Trying my best to lost some weight, but up to date.. I STILL have not lose any weight yet...
SIAN... gosh i don't have anytime left to lost my weight... DON"T care!!! me going to have
the most terrible diet that anybody can imagine.. Just wheat bread sandwich for all three meals..
But then again... i am attanding some dinner tomorrow.. Got to eat and eat... Some will need to go for more
gym work out.. GYM workout... here i come!

Bike lesson on a rainy day..

Had my bike lesson today on a rainy day.. For a while I thought the lesson would be cancelled because the rain was rather heavy. Today progress was not too bad. At least I am able to ride on second and third gear. Then, the instructer required us to change third gear to first gear. A skill which comes in useful when one is following too closely to the one in front. I was not skillful enough then, and I flew off my bike. My first though that came to my mind was.. Shit I am one dead rat! Haha.. Though this fall I am not going to give us..

Trup to Malacca on the 28 Aug'2005

Went in to Malaysia last sunday on the 28 Aug'2005 with a group of friends, Jeremy,Luann(Jeremy's girlfriend) and Alvin. Stay at VK place so that Alvin could pick us all up together. Our target was to head for Malacca then. Vk was supposed to ride with us and head for Malacca then but she pull out of the trip and decided not to go.Woke up at 6.15am to bath and wash up. Alvin had to drop his parent and sister to the bus station then as they were going to Genting then.Gosh so damn sleepy then! Head in and had prata at Jb then before we head up to Malacca.On the way up, Alvin's car had some problem then, his car was heating up very fast, hiting the "red".We were half way up to Machap then and the problem was rather a headache one and worse part was that it was raining. With the rain and the car problem, everything seems so upsetting. As we tried to solve the car problem, a tow truck came by to help us. They offered to look in the engine then, and they mention that there is no more water in the car. Gosh! Alvin had mentioned before that he had make sure that he had filled up the car with water then. Guess the car must have drank them all finished when he tried to bring the car to about 120. Witht he tow truck people help we managed to stablise the car problem then. We were able to drive up to Machap stop to let the car rest.Gave up the idea of going up to Malacca then, because the car does not have the ability to go all the way to Malacca. The last thing we want to expect is to be on the highway waiting for the tow truck to tow the car away

In the Bee Gees mood now..

Gosh.. I got the bee gees mood now.. For a while I thought that yesterday was fri, but I guess it is due to the enjoyable time I had last night. I was on my feet swaying , scream and shouting.. And boy oh boy.. I really had a good time.. Hope to do such thing often.. But i guess i will not buy such expensive ticket bah.. Haha..

Bee Gees Rule!!

Wah Wah Wah!!! keke.. Had a lot of fun tonight over at the National Indoor Stadium.
When to watch Magnetic Tour 2005, Robin Gibb. He did his own new songs as well as the Bee Gess Greatest Hits.. Gosh I had lots of fun!My ex colleague gave me the tickets, a ticket that worth $144 each.. thanks Nellie!! Went with Alvin to watch it since I was supposed to go gym with him, but this offer of watching the show popped up, hence asked him along as I don't want to put him aeroplane. Gosh.. Enjoy the show very much. The whole place went wild went he sang "Saturday Night Fever and Staying a life" I was screaming my throat off and dance away... haha... think i don't have the energy to shout tomorrow already... haha

Diet

My weekend was spent in a very healthy way. Went to gym two days in a row and golf on sun. I was being advised to take up course to prefect my hit. But I dont think I will spend the money. One issue is the money thing while the other issue is that will this be a hobby that is going to be lasting. I guess I will just play and try to learn from the 'pro' like Jeremy.. Hopeful he can impart me his skill.. Haha.. Felt very good after the two days work. Believe that I am able to shed off the few kg that I do not want. My workplace had turned rather quiet after my colleague Maureen left us for shanghai.. Going to miss her colour and non colour jokes. Keke.. feeling very frustuered.. Some difficult issue got cook up and I dont know if it can be solved or not. This issue have being bothering me on and of for at least a few years.. Argh hate that feeling.. So sick!

Updates...

Wah.. It has being quite a while since the last time I wrote this blog. A lot of things had happened this month.. I have started learning to play golf, with the help of Jeremy,VK and Alvin. They commented that I play rather well for a beginner.. Haha.. Dont know really or not.. But I have to say, it is a rather interesting game. It kind of work out my back as well as my arms. Woh.. Can get rid of my love handles.. Hehe.. Will be playing with them for a while to prefect it, I guess. My aunt da gu, just passed away last fri. The news was a rather shocking one. As all the way she has being rather healthy. She die from heart attack. My weekend were rather busy then, going to her wake. It was a rather shocking news that till now, I cant really accept that she had really left us.. I did not send her off to mandai, as I was rushing off to the NDP thing. I believed that Da Gu can understand my problem... Rushed down to the NPD after I walked my Da Gu out.. I managed to remember most of the sign for the song uniquely you.. As the song rang in my ears, I cant help but to recall my Da Gu. "there is a place in my heart, that I keep for someone special" ... The whole sign language thing went pretty well. Now we just hoped that it can be written into the world record. After the whole sign language thing had finish, glady, alvin and me have to wait till nine plus for the firework. It was indeed something worth waiting for. I simply love fireworks..We went down to lau pat sa to eat after the whole act. The three of us look like baked lobster as we had being in the sun for at least 5hrs.. Looking forward to watch other round of firework on this coming sun, hopefully it will be as good as well.

I am part of the NDP 2005

I was at the NDP preview act today at Marina South. I will be doing a song and the pledge in sign language.
Rather stress though coz we(as in all the 3000 over particpate) are going to enter the world record.. My friend Glady can't stand me, cause I kept on practise in front of her.. haha. A bit bored while waiting for the event to start of, but I had lots of fun doing it.Looking forward to the actual day cause there will be firework!! (Just love seeing fireworks!) Went off for a dinner after the act, it was about 9 plus then, went down to orchard to had our dinner. Glady surprised us with a cake for Alvin, as it is Alvin birthday today, and my oh my, Alvin is 29 this year, and does not look like he is 29 at all... Gosh.. just hate man who don't look like their age... (green eye monster now) He look so much younger! Glady does not want to sing the birthday song.. and they trick me into sing the birthday song for Alvin.. haha.. Best part of all the both of them(Alvin and Glady) praise that sing rather well.. (Hope they mean it .. cross my fingers..keke) So tired right now... going to zzzz.

Blue black Everywhere...

Some of you may think that I deserve it... that I got
two big patch of blue black from my first pratical lesson.
Hurt badly man, but the instructor are very nice,
got me ice and onitment to apply on the blue black..
My friend condition not very good either, she good a mild heat stroke.
I guess, guys are still better with bikes.. the batch of boys who are newbis,
when into practising the corners.. while me and my friend will still have to hit the tires on our next lesson..NEver mind.. just have to put in extra work and sweat!

No! I am Damn screw!

Sorry Pauline! Sign.. I was suppose to be taking my orientation now for my bike lesson with Pauline. But I screw it up.. I did not confirm the booking.. The class is full as well.. Hence in the end.. I cant take my lesson. Sob sob.. Cant stand it I am so Damn screw and blur.. One reason that i did not print it out is becoz the computer that I used does not have a printer attach to it which hence... I did not print it out... Ah.. I am so Damn screw..

My Body fail me again

Damn Sick.. My body fail me again. Hate to be sick ..
but again and again my body fail me.
Miss my jogging and blading session a lot..
And Shit! I am getting very FAT!!!

Things to Always Remember

Things to always Remember by Collin McCarty
1. Your presence is a present to the world.
2. Your life can be just what you want it to be.
3. Take the days just one at a time.
4. You're unique and one of a kind.
5. count your blessings not your troubles.
6. Within you are so many answers
7. Understand, have courage, be strong
8. So many dreams are waiting to be realised.
9. Decisions are too important to leave to chance
10.Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
11.Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
12.The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.
13.Life's treasures are people together.
14.Have health,hope and happiness.
15.Life's treasures are people together.
16.Live a life of serenity not regrets
17.Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot... goes forever.
18.Take time to wish upon a star.
19.Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
20.Reach for your peak,your goal,your prize.
21.Don't take things too seriously.
22.Don't put limits on yourself.
23.You'll make it through whatever comes along

Is it really solve? Cross my finger and I hope so!

The mess I have creating have seems to have found it's own way out.I was given other chance to make up for it, and my deadline is 6 July'05.. Better get on with it or I miss my chance again.

I am out of drive. There is no drive in me to do anything and I kind of lost and don't know what to do. I am certainly that I don't need a partner. In fact a few weeks ago someone eventually ask me to be attached with him. But sadly to say I got no feelings for him. He is a very nice guy, but I hardly know him and I guess he is rushing things too fast.Anyway all the best to him.

I wish for the exam and school assements to finish quickly, coz in a way or rather it is creating a lot of problems for me.Health is one of the it. Getting very little execise. Miss my the jogging and blading trip a lot..

Miserable..

I am feeling very miserable right now.. All I wish now is to quickly finish up my course and get on with life.. And just like the song by corrine may .. I can be free .. I can be free from this place.. Break this chain .. Break this chain..

To be or not to be..

To be or not to be.. That is the question that constally bugging a person life and mind. Things in many way can be as simple as it can be. But most of the time, human makes things more complicated. We are a living thing, a thing that keep on changing with life and is always doing things that is unexpectally. Hence at many times, plans that involve humans got to be changed at all times. But are we really willing to change.. Or are we simply just too comfortable with our current environment that simply dont want to change...life is full of unexpected moments are we ready to accept it? ...

What the heck?!

Getting rather frusted with myself. Feeling very down and grouchy.Hate things around me and myself as well. I have put myself in such a huge mess that I don't really know how to fixed it. Just hoped that everything will turns out smoothly and well.. So I will need you gals to help me pray for me..

When for the Mass Signing trainings organised by the Association of Deaf last sat 11 June. Had a lots of fun, and will need to attand one more session on this coming Sat 18 June.Will need to attand the reharsel on the 30 July. But after all the stuff ended, I felt terribly lonely and lost.. Argghhh.. Get on with your life!

Looking forward to meet Baby Tricia on this coming Sun...googh...

Scooter anniversary

Enjoyed myself when I went for the scooter anniversary on sat.Thanks Gald for sending me there. It has being a while since I have met anthony and his wife too and their six month old baby girl.Enjoyed playing with the baby, she is such a darling. I remembered the last time I met them, the baby was not born yet.. I guess the only thing that put me of a little bit was the part whereby people was asking me where was mambo.. It is the kind of moment whereby one wish to find a place to hide themselves. I was gald to meet one new female member as well as she is not very tall but she had all the determination to get her licence. She is definutely my inspiration to get my licence.

Update.

Oops.. It has being a while since my last Blog.. Well here is the update. My best gift for my birthday is that my girlfriend had gave birth to a baby girl on my birthday. Her name is tricia. Hi baby tricia. I spent my birthday in a very simple way. Went for a scary movie, and i brought a bottle of sweet wine and I headed changi bench. That was a rainy day, but lucky for me when I reached there it was not raining any more.27 May'05 Yes! I have finally went to make arrange to take my bike theory...etc My next step will be...hmmm when to take it up..(Waiting for my girlfriend..) Last sat 28 may was spent in very funny way.. I went to a wedding whereby I dont even know the couple at all.. Actually I was there to help out to set up for a band thingy.. Rather an eye opening thing for me...

Thanks!

So touched my colleague celebrated my birthday by giving me a surprise birthday cake.. Thanks girls..

Sidebar..

Mangage to put up My Wishlist at the side..
But it look Damn ugly.. will fix this up soon.
so tired.. dyinh for a hoilday..
Sian...

Farewell Mr Wee.

Just finish watching the show of the last of Mr Wee. Very touched by the speech made by his granddaughter. From her speech, we can tell how deeply Mr Wee loves his wife. Her granddaughter ask how many of you have kept a list of songs that your wife loves in a folder? That is the kind of love I am looking for, the kind of love that will last you till old. I guess that is not too much to ask am I?

Ah...

Went blading yesterday.. But my blading skill sucks. I guess one of the reason is that the blade is very worn out. Cant blade smoothly at all. Try a few pair of blade at a shop in east coast. I guess that pair of E3 suits me the best. Not very expensive though but I can only afford it next month. Went down to see the new bike by piaggio liberty at heeren. Rather lady like, but I would still prefer a verspa gt. After that, went down to ah boy to get my helmet. So happy, the helmet is not very expensive, its colour is grey and the texture is in matt. So bored at home now, but dont feel very going anywhere. Yawn.. Going to take a nap now..

Finally!

Finally! It is the end of the month, so Damn cash strip. And here I am in the month of May. Rather excited as I am going to get my own helmet on this coming sat. Cant wait for the month to end and for me to enter the month of June as I will start my bike lesson in the month of june.. Cant start now as my girlfriend is only free in the month of june. Want to get my own pair of blades as well, the rented blades are giving me bad blisters and now my two feet have very unsightly marks. I can blade rather well now, no problems going over the hump though at times facing it is a huge changeallage for me. So my way of solving my fear is going over the hump slow but steady. But my blading speed is very slow. Just imagine, as I blade, a little girl on her tricycle can over surpass me. I could not help by laughed about it myself. But I know that as long as I practise hard enough, my skill will get better and I will blade faster. Got this free thingy makeover but it is only available only on weekday.. Mmm dont know should go or not..

Blog not so often..

I will not be blogging for a while. Cause for one thing, I don't know what to write.. My Life now is as plain as a glass of water.
No taste, no favour. Once in a while I will write to keep you friends to know what happened to me.. So I guess, maybe you can read into my blog once a week instead..

Unlucky day!

My luck was in the drain today. All the bad things had happened to me today. First I miss my bus. Then when I reached my work place, I found out that one of my kid may be down with hand foot mouth problem. Then I volunteer to clean up the child who pass motion as my assistant need to look after a other kids as well as the one who is down with HFM. I brought the kid down to the wash room, she cried non stop for her mum.. Cant blame her, a new kid who had not settle down. I tried to calm her down and changed her then. The worst part was,she was having diarrhoea. And it leak out while I tried to placed the soiled diaper into the plastic bag. Some of the diarrhoea drip and stain my jeans. Ah.. Of all days.. Not today when I wore my best jeans.. Plus I have lesson in the Nite. Luckily my colleague had an extra pair of pants. She lent it to me, and I change my dirty jeans for washing. After I had my lunch, I called up to check on the girl who was sick. True enough, she is really down with HFM.. And since she is really down with it, all the toys got to be washed and my room got to be cleaned up again. It was Damn tiring. But then again the Nite is here and tomorrow wili be other new day. Everything will start afresh.

Shit!

Ah.... This cannot be happening! My discman is spoilt! The stupid thing cant scan the cd.. And i have No other source of media player now! My camera can only contain very little songs.. Ah.. Damn it.. So unlucky.. Well I guess for now I can only depend on my hp as the only source for music.. I guess , I will need to save up for a mp3 player then.. Hmmm.. Which to buy? ...

No rain Pls!

Very excitied about tomorrow Nite, as the budak pantai is going to have another mini concert tomorrow Nite at ymca. Hopefully it will not rain tomorrow Nite.. Rain rain go away, Pls come another day.. Budak pantai want to sing.. Keke.. Just love them.. They are so funny..

Last four Month

My supervisor approach me to work full time starting on the 15 of this
month. The following four month is going to be a tough time for me to
pass through. It does helps in my money matter but it going to be a
mental strain for me, as I have to cope between my work and studies. The
whole thing excites me as well, as my plan of going for bike licence can
be carried out earlier.But I would have to clear my debts with my mum
and sis then, before I could do anything. I was thinking of getting a
pair of blades as well, since I am getting quite well in it, but I
guess this idea will hold as well, as I feel that I have not master it
totally yet. Though in long run, it is more economic to buy a pair of my
own, I wait till I have master the skill better. Friends, please pray for
me, need all the power and support...

My sunday..

Reach east coast yesterday at 10 in the morning.. Went to practise my riding skill.. With a bicycle.. I notice that when I ride the bicycle, it is very jerked.. Got to work on that! Then, I had to wait for my friends for two hrs! As the lunch was canceled by my friends last min.. No choice, brought a newspaper and spent my two hrs reading instead.. Very happy with my performance yesterday as I manage to increase my blading speed.. But as I Increase the speed, I fell more often.. This is something that i must work on too! I have yet to learn how to make turns and to stop properly.. As the sky began to darker and it began to rain. I have made arrangement to meet a new girl from the bike forum, and I thought I could meet her, the sky began to clear off and I quickly msg her and let her know.. She came down with her brother then intend to blade as well.. But the sky turned dark again, and rain again.. So all of us head for the mac to have a drink. Enjoyed talking to her then, she had let me know of things that I will encounter when I am going to take my bike lesson.. In a way or rather, I am more firm on my decision on taking the licence. All my life, I had being doing things and caring for others. It is time that I pamper myself and do things that I like for myself!

I won

Haha.. This is like a April fool present or what.. I won a pair of
ticket to some artist autography event.. Dont know who the artist is.. Most
important is that I won! Ah... So happy ... Keke.. I was so shock when
the Dj called me.. Ah.. So happy.. Keke..

So frigile

Life is so fragile.The earthquake had took away at least 1000 people in this disaster. Help have being pouring into indonesia. But their help will never be able to ease the pain of losing their love ones. It will take them a very time to led a normal life again. On the other hand on the other side of singapore, Mrs Terri Schiavo,the brain damaged Florida woman have being trying to be alive on tubes. Now, the state judge had ruled to remove her feeding tube, no water and food have being given to her then. I wonder if she want it to be kept alive that way or if she would rather be gone.. I do hope that the ruling will changed, as only being alive will then miracle happen...

Yawn..

Yawn.. Super tired.. Dont seems to be getting enough sleep.. Went out on fri for karaoky and two movie in a row at Nite.. Reached home about 4am.. Best part is I had to work on sat.. Hence never sleep lor.. But I Was super awake at work. After work on sat went down to cineleasure to support brembo. Ash.. Never manage to take a good picture of him with jaime yeo. He pillion jaime for a coke event. Wanted to meet his wife as well, but she went for a spa that day so never manage to. Missed them man.. So long never meet them already. Brembo still look the same just that he had his hair dye.. Stay till about 5 plus near to 6.. Wah cannot tahan already.. Must go home and sleep.. I am death tired..

Guess who I saw?

Guess who I met today girls? Alvin, the guy who wore spec from 4c
class, siglap sec school! Gosh my eyes is so sharp man.. Keke.. I was not
very sure it was him then, but I just called him just to confirm. He is
working at SCS Bedok now. Those were the good old days then, back in
secondary. I was like a crazy woman then, chasing my friends around,
taking their photos. I looked like a total nerd.. Haha.. I can never forget
how they sabo me during my birthday, coke, flour,eggs and water bomb!
Gosh.. I smell terrible man! Our class was the most notorious lot, but
surprise surprise, our class was well liked by our disciplie
master.Ah.. How I missed that period of my life..

UFM 100.3

UFM 100.3 has always being my number one choice of channel in the morning. In the past, they have guest star like yi feng to participate in the talk show. Missed her witty way of talking. Now they still have the talk show but in a different way of presenting. What I like about this talk show on the radio is that they talk about different topic concerning you and me,things that is happing around you. It is almost like debut show. Talking about topic in a different light and view. Very happy to see such good radio show. Just imagine, some school include this radio show as part of their lesson. Keep it up UFM 100.3!

My dream bike.

Ah.. Cannot tahan man.. The sight of the bike vespa can drive me crazy. The look of it is so cute. Cant wait for the next four month to pass by quickly. I want to take bike licence! It will take me at least one whole year then in order for me to be on the road. For now, I can only look look see see ..

The after effect of blading..

Ah... My body aching like nobody business man.. Never know that blading can worked on the whole body. Now my back aches and my leg is sore.(leg rose coz the inline blade must be wore tightly.) The best part is my right foot got one big whole wound coz the shoe is not very fitting! Pls Pls quickly heal.. Coz I still want to blade! Haha..

My first inline blading experience

Finally, I got to play inline blade today.. Not bad for my first time, I managed to blade for quite a distance. Just that when there is a hump, I could not get over it. I fell as well, all in all, I fell about five time in three hours. But over all I was very happy over my learning experience. Thanks to Tony, he is a good teacher. The whole learning experience inspired me quite a lot. When I lost my grip, my friends will be there to help me break the fall. But when they are not around, I have to learn to stand on my own and blade myself. For now, I have not learned to cross the hump. Hence I could only go around the hump. But that is not the solution, to go around the hump. In life, we cant go around hiding own problem as well. I belived very soon, I will be able to go over the hump and I need time to learn how to go over it. Friends are what I need now ...

Starry Nite on the roof top with budak pantai

I love them.. Their funny character and their songs.. So happy they have got together tonite to have this mini concert.. Ticket is only ten for adult.. And eight for student..going to enjoy their singing now... (include one drink and one snack.. or two drinks... cheap cheap!!!)

So gald that I have went to this mini concert.. For the first time after this long one month.. I laughed from my heart.. Their songs filled me with joy and laughter.. I just wish this feeling will last...

Lonely..

Ever since the relationship ended, my phone become somehow rather silent and unused. Not that much of phone calls and message any more. But then again, when I was with him my phone was never that busy as well, cause my circle of friends is never that big in the first place. But I never felt a bit lonely then cause I had him. Now, I began to feel extremely lonely and lost.. I dont know if he is still reading my Blog or not. He told me that he would, but after the last bad messaging coversation, he gave me the feeling that he hate me and somehow or rather he would not want to see or do anything that got to do with me... On the other hand, if all my thoughts are not true, and that he is still reading my Blog, I just let him to know that he will get my blessing for his next upcoming relationship. He will still be 'alive' and living in as part of me. But it will be only be as part of my memories... Let the past be written and the good times to be remembered...

The Trip

I was happily thinking that I will be going to the trip that the club
people have organised. Out of courtesy, I ask him if it is ok that I
join it, as I dont want to make him feel uneasy. He answered that he have
no position to decide for me and that I were to decide it for myself. I
was really looking for it not that because he was there, but because I
need to do some stuff.I need to mingle with people.. I was looking so
forward to see baby renay! She is so cute! But then, not shortly, he
message me asking me why is it that I am so keen to go.. And that he
wonder if I have any ulterior motive to do so. I am so insulted! Is this how
he look at me? It is my life and it is his life now! All I want is to
have a good time and to relax myself.. After so much have happened and
with the work and study stress.. Then he reply that for now I should
know that it will definately be uneasy for he and me as well as the people
around us.. To me, the fact is the fact. All I want is to get into
crowd, to know more people.. At that point I was more determined to go. But
after much thinking.. I decided not to since it is going to cost so
much trouble and effect. At the same time it also just show how he though
about me..

The End

He came by to my place and returned me all my stuff. I have thousand of things to tell and ask him, but everything just stop at my lip when I saw him. I requested for the last hug from him, and he did, with a kiss on my forehead.. U sure we are still going to be friends? I ask him and he said yes..

The Red capsule

I manage to find the other half of the red capsule replacement. It was sold as a whole and not just half of it, so the newly half top piece is useless now. Though now that it looks as a whole, it will never be the one that was given to me because the other half will always be lost. The newly half piece represent the me now, as someone who need to start afresh. But all the good memories will be there, represented by the scratches on the top half piece. This red capsule will always be with me reminding of me of who I am supposed to be and to be better and to keep my memories alive. Somehow or rather, this red capsule also represent my present relationship with him, which is - friends are what we are now. Deep down me, my heart aches like hell, I dont know if it will always be aching or not..but I guess it will take a long time before it will ever be healed. For me now, I have learned to stand up on my feet, but it is going to take a while before I ever learn to walk.

Ah choo..

Shit.. Taking a bus now.. It is so Bloody cold in the bus! And I am having a cold.. Ah choo.. Just got to bear with it cheaper to take bus after all..

Relax!

I need to find some source and ways to help me relax! Finding myself very stress for the passed few days. The best part here is that I have no idea what issue or stuff I am stress over. Perhaps it is everything; work, school and life. Got to get vent out my frustration some where.. Dont worry friends, I am not the kind who will vent out my frustration on the kids. Looking very forward to my second in line blade on sun. Who knows I may get hitch by handsome guys.. Keke..

Me!

Sometime I wonder a lot about how people look at me. Friends, Pls do me a favour, tell me what you think about me. Good or bad, I will gladly take it. You can write your comment here in my Blog, or if you me in your friendster, do write a testimonal for me.. I like to know more about what you think about me. A big thanks to all of you!

女人

一个没有爱情的女人，就有如枯谢的花朵。一个没有爱情的女人，也可以是一朵牵牛花。因为他是哪么努力的往上长。牵牛花呀，牵牛花，你要努力地往上长，你才能开放出美丽的花朵！

Sick!

I hate falling sick! Having this horrible headache that bugs me since I had my evening class.. Want to get my health in pink shape as quick as possible! I have always being interested to learn in line skate but cant afford to buy that skate.. Well.. I guess, I just have to save up for it..

Hide and Seek

I wont not say that the show 'hide and seek' is a bad show. Most people would said that this show is very typical show in the sense that this sort of story line have being used again and again. As for me, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this show.

When a person is sick and he feels unwell, he will look for a doctor. Yet most of the time, when a person is metally unwell, he will not look for help as he himself does not find that he have such problem. Often, he will lock his inner self up, looking ways and means to help himself. Most of the time his behaviour affect his lifestyle and his people around him.Under the hyper dictonary defination, split personality or mulitplex personality is: [n] a relatively rare dissociative disorder in which the usual integrity of the personality breaks down and two or more independent personalities emerge

In the show, the main cast,David was hurt and betray by his wife.His feeling began to turn into hatered,leading him to kill his own wife. He had split personality then,he did it his own will.His ways led him to causes more pain to her daughter.

To be continued...

To the seaside part 3

I am so glad that I came to the sea side.. It is 8pm.. The sun have completely set, and now the moon is in set to take its shift. The moon is not lonely tonite as he has lots of stars by his side. Looking at this sight, remind me that I still have my friends beside me when I need them...

To the seaside again.Part 2

The sun began to set, the and clouds seems to be flying low. The sun breeze got so stronge that I am begining to feel very cold. Very relieved that I brought along my blue giordano jacket to keep myself warm.. Getting to feel a bit lonely here as I see couples and family by the sea side, enjoying the their evening. It make me wonder if they are happy to be here or that they do not have a choice.. A SQ plane just flied by low, given me an urge of taking a plane to run away from this small little island. Any where, let me just go to any place, a place where I can forget all my problems. I am very tired too.. Tired of meeting up with died lines for asserment, tired of being cash strip every month, tired of being nobody. But in the past, by the end of the week, I feel relieved and safe as I had him with me then.. And now, I can only have him within my heart. I guess, it is not important that you must 'own' that someone. As long as that someone is happy and safe out there, you will be happy as well. Wishing you the best..

To the seaside again.

Just finished my work at the child care centre.. Gosh.. It is not easy to be a child care teacher at all, there is so much things to do. On my way to the sea side now,want to enjoy the evening sun light. This is definately a crowded place on sat, campers setting up their tents to stay overnight, and there is even someone out here doing surfing as well.. I will stay here to about 730, as I have booked a ticket to watch 'hide and seek' alone. Hopefully I am sitting at a good position as the booking was done via axs machine. I'm a big fan of scary movie, you may find it silly. Why spent the money to get yourself frightened? I guess it is the thrill and unknown that attracts me. Looking forward to watch 'white noise', whereby have made arrangement to watch with my girlfriends.

Yummy!

Yummy.. Watching this taiwanese show host by the famous model Lin Zhi Lin. Wah, she can speake very good japanese.. They went to this restaurant call mouriya kobe. This place served very good kobe beef. One thin slice of kobe beef is about sin dollars 30.. They mention that a three years old kobe beef is best for consuming. A three years old kobe cow is about human year 18 years old. During these three years, the cow will drink beer, they will listen to music and they get very personal service like massage! No wonder kobe beef taste so good. I have yet to eat kobe beef. Hope to find a local restaurant here that serve good kobe beef.. But for now, I guess I just have to wait, because I am broke! Haha..

My girlfriend2

It is 9pm.. Just miss my bus, it take other 20 mins for me to wait for another bus. In the past, he used to pick me up, but like what I wrote it is in the past. I told one of my girlfriend again on what happened between me and him, and she mention that there is a high possibility that he may have someone in his heart. I told her that I totally trust him that he did not have any other girl. But since we are no longer a couple now. I cant stop him from finding another girl. I just hope that he will not repeat his old ways any more.. As for me, I have to be stronge and lead myself to be a brand new person.

Thank You!

I am not looking for pity here.. Hope my friends can understand, I am just making full use of the Blog to make my life easier. I dont wish to repeat my story again and again.. Hence I guess such is a very good way from repeating myself. I like to thank all my friends who have called me, giving me lots of encouragement and support. The world will still spin, time will still tick and life still have to go on. My world did not just stop here, as I am just like another girl who is out of love. Nothing in this world have changed just for me. Hence I have to be stronge and walk on. Friends thank you for being there for me when I needed help most..

My Judgment Day is here

I lost half the capulse that he gave it to me. It is a red capulse, whereby you can screw it out and put in a note.
I felt very frighted, a surge of feeling came flowing up and made known to me that this relationship may end.
I made a call to him, he refused to take my call,leaving me not chosen but to message him.
"I like to ask you if you have come up with a decision.".

To my horror, his decision is, he don't want to carry on anymore.

I am totally lost.

He hope that we still can be as friends, and I told him that it will be pretty hard,
as I will always be carrying that torch for him. He said that he will be there for me if I were to ever need his help.
But then again, it will never be the same.

I know that I have to be stronge, I have to stand up again. I guess we still can be friends.
Though things have changed, I just like you to know that you are the best boyfriend I ever have.

Hence,I wish that we still can be friends...

At this point, my friends are important to me, but I noticed that there is a lot of things I have missed out while I was with him. I have lost touch with a lot of my friends.. I am very determind now that I should contact my friends more often!

Tomorrow will be a brand new day.. I don't know how my fate will leave me to, but I guess, life still have to go on..

PS: I know that my English sucks.. please beared with me.. trying very hard to improve it.

Stop Blog

On my way to see one of girlfriend who got degee fever.. I will stop
my Blog, till my judgment day come.. Pls pray for me that it will
be a happy ending. For now, all I can do is pray hard and wait. Somehow
or rather I have a feeling that he may not be reading all my writing
at all. I will stop all my emails and msg to him as well.. I guess what
should have being done are being done already.. It is now all up to
him, it is his call now.

Life

I never like writing, but for the past one day, I had wrote a lot on my
own thoughts and feelings..
I am still by the sea side it is 2.19pm in the afternoon. The sound of the ocean and the breeze leaves me so much in a serene mood.
There is not much people here though. An old man is sleeping on the bench on the extreme left side me, while a couple is sitting on the extreme right side, whispering sweet words to each other. I am not afraid of being single, what I am afraid most, is that I would not be love and cared by him any more. It may sound silly, after all judgment day is not here for me. Why do I have to worry so much?
The reason is simple, the fact that one is going to lost someone they love deeply, is enough to send one crazy..
The music made by the ocean got louder and the sun shone brightly, leaving me in a daze, wondering how my life is going to be written

The Afternoon Breeze

I am the seaside now enjoying the afternoon breeze. You may think I am
crazy.. But dont worry I will not do anything silly, it is not that hot
anyway..
This place gave me such a serene feeling. It had witness so
much of my ups and downs. It had heal my wounds when I broke up with
Colin.. It had witness my first hug with him when he was feeling sorrow at
that time. (we were not a couple back then) it makes me wonder now if he is
feeling the same kind of sorrow now..
We often came here then, at the time when we were so much in love. He felt that he was so much connected with me then.. He told me that he love me.. There was once he was almost on his knee when he told me that. We have so much to share then, our
thoughts, feelings and faith.. He told me that he will prove it to me
that he will make everything rite, for the two of us. And that he wish
that all this will work for us. He gave me a red capsule where a note is
place inside..
And the message goes like this."this is juz a simple note to say how much I Love you! Hope u keep this close 2 ur heart"...

Dear if u r reading this.. I hope that you can take out the heart that I have gave you which you placed it in your wallet.. Open it up,there is a message for you..

A brand New Day

It is 7.12am, a fresh new day. Some how or rather, my heart still ache.
Recalling my action and behaviour, I began to realise that alll the traits
resemble someone who he knows. A person who was full of jealousy and a little bit of self inferior complex.In the end he turns out to be out of control and dangerous..
(Don't worry , I will not turn out to be dangerous)

Can't really blame me to turn out this way, how would one feel if the other keep on unconsciously mentioning about someone' name in every small detail?

I swallowed it up in my stomach, I knew that there was nothing going on between them though, but I feel uncomfortable. The least I could do is to tell him nicely that "Hey I don't feel uncomfortable about .." the whole thing, I hope that things can improve but this does not means that you two can't meet up any more

But in the end he took it that I don't trust him and made the girl felt bad...

I am not here to blame anybody, not him, not her or me.I am not the judge or god here. There is too many gray areas in this problem(From what I see..)

But then again, I felt that my bond with him have being rob away. Gone are the days whereby we used to share ideas and goals and feelings. There is a serious breaking down communcation here. Is it me or him? For all I know, we can fix the problem and that is if he wants to or not...

My GirlFriend

I am so thankful that my girlfriend is there for me when I need her!
I have to also understand that even if this relationship were to fail,
I must still stand up on myself to walk,and my grilfriend will be there to support me only if I were to fall. All I can do is wait, to wait for the reply. Though it has being one day since the cool off period,it has being living hell for me.

I wish and pray hard that everything will turn out to be a happy ending and that he will give me a chance, a chance to believe in our relationship as well.

And though the bad is hard to swallow, I will still accept the fact.

Me and Him

Our beginning was like a dream; it wasn’t easy for us to be together. We promised to each other that we would take care and cherish this relationship. Never would we want our past experience to repeat it again. We had our first kiss at the Bedok Reservoir, it was on the 13 May 2003. He held my chin and put his lips to mine. It was a kiss that I will never forget.

It was a tough period to get back after our first kiss. We could only get comfort from each other during those time

He came to meet me near the Far East Shopping Centre that night, it was my birthday. I was having dinner with my friends then.. We sat at the bench till the night got cold. He took me to his place,and we sat at the bench near the swimming pool. The night got colder , and he warmed me with his hands.

We went up to his room, and he showed me the present that he got for me. There was a bunch of paper rose held in a small vase. A Me to You bear photo frame with our photo in it. My favorite cartoon character tigger ring, lastly he got me a set of earrings and necklace in heart shape, and lastly my birthday card.Unfortunately, I have sensitive ears, hence I can't wear the pair of earrings.(But I am wearing it now..though it will itch... but I don't care..) He did not send me home though, and I insisted that it is ok that I go home myself, as the it was too late..(He was riding a bike then) Gifts from him did not just stop there.. Though they are not expensive but they mean every little meanings and thoughs from him.

Up to date he have gave me 10 cards, and every 10 cards, he wrote lots of wishes and blessing that he wants for the both of us. He knew that we are going to walk this tough road when I was going to start my dip course. In one of his card that he gave me back dated 13 May’04.
“Its been a tough 1 year for both of us as we have numerous obsticles to clear but we ‘ve made thru it.
“I hope you put your heart and soul into making this work for you. Don’t worry as I will be there for you No MATTER WHAT HAPPENS” (Back dated 21 May2004)

He gave me all the support and help that I need all this while. I am gald that he did. Not just mentally but finanically as well

But yesterday, he told me that he can’t carry this burdern any more.. He felt very tired. All his feelings and love for me are no longer that strong any more.

I admit I have faults, faults that should never have ever exist in our relationship. And that is not trusting him. But I am not pround of my action at all. The action of snob around his stuff. He felt that he no longer have the privacy that he used to have. I realised my mistake now. I a truly want to change this wrong action that I have done to be right. At the same time, it also bolied down to the fact that I love him too much. So much to the fact that I want him all to my own.

Lastly, I really do hope that he read all this, give me a chance, at the same time believing our relationship all over again. Like to wish you Happy Valentine's Day. No matter where you are.

Life Sucks PArt 2

This really sucks! To be alone on a V'Day..
I wonder how he is going to spend the day today..
I felt that my life at the moment is in a huge mess..
Will the mess vanish? Or how about i just do a vanish act?
Let me just vanish off from this earth... I do have to admit that
I do Have many Faults, But now that i know where the faults lie,
I wish to make things right! This is the pact we used to have ,
always make things if they is any things that when wrong get in the way..
But no... He just kept everything to himself, and now it is to the extent that it
may be unrepairable.. I really hope he is going to give me the chance..
and though all this quarrel thing.. I MISS him.. I really do...

Life Sucks!

Life is a strange thing... Sometime I wonder what is life all about...
Just had a quarrel with him... and now he wants a cool off period..
What makes me mad is that we don't seems to have much problems.
The problem that he points out can be solve, and that is if he wanted to.
I am very lost.. all the while, he is my everything and now,
There may be a chance that we are going seperate ways..
I don't think we can ever be friends if we really do go seperate ways
He will always be in my heart, a place that no one can ever replace him.
I really pray hard that we can get back... and things will still be the same..
For all I know... I can, and will be able to change my ways for him..